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Ex Gay Attempt

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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
July 22, 2010, 11:54 am

:O I am going to attempt to change my sexuality in a trial to prove it can not be done! People think I am dumb, going against who I am, crazy, interesting, etc. I have gotten a lot of feedback in some other places. I am just curious to know what the people here think about this attempt? If you want to follow this story you can at Good as Gay


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Chris
Administrator
Joined in 2009
July 22, 2010, 12:12 pm

Would any of the ex-gay supporters believe it is a viable attempt if they know you’re doing it with a particular result already in mind? I mean, your set of rules indicates you still have a boyfriend… Sexuality isn’t just about sex. It’s about emotions as well.


It’s not exactly following the principles of Scientific Method, is what I’m saying.


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
July 22, 2010, 1:05 pm

People are generally dead set in the ways of method. The video touches briefly on that.


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HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
July 22, 2010, 2:46 pm

I don’t exactly know how committed you are to this but I tried for 3 years with lots of different methods and it lead me to deep depression, suicide attempts and self harm. One of my friends even committed suicide.


I am not sure about the reasons why you are doing this. I’m sure you have good intentions but to be honest I find it deeply offensive, like it makes a mockery of the reasons I went into the ex-gay ministries. I actually believed everything that they told me.


I never went into the ex-gay ministries to try and change…I went in to them to be ‘the man that God wanted me to be’ or so I thought, ‘change’ as such was meant to be a result of the journey of holiness towards God.


Be careful…I am not sure that I agree with your attempts but this is a free country and you can do what you want. Just please know that this is no laughing matter, it is deeply serious for many people and causes so much more harm than you can possibly realise.


I hope you understand why I am writing this.


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N149
 
Joined in 2010
July 22, 2010, 2:57 pm

The thought still often crosses my mind…


I still have the rare occasional doubt that I must be straight to be accepted by God, but they are becoming fewer and further between.


I was talking to a straight Christian friend of mine told me to never attempt any such program unless I felt a strong conviction from God. I never thought of it this way, but I think it is how lots of people need to look at it.


Just my thoughts…


Shan


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 26, 2010, 11:38 pm

hey JaydWoods……considering that there is no scientific evidence both before and after ex-gay ministries came on the science that anyone can change their sexual orientation ….and considering that you have already accepted that you are gay…….and considering that you already know it wont work……it does seem a tad strange that you would invest time and energy in this.


One guy on the forum said he actually lost his 20′s trying to go from gay to straight in ex-gay programs……no living as a happy fulfilled gay man……he regrets that now.


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
July 27, 2010, 2:02 pm

Hey Ben, I totally understand what you are saying. I am assuming that the blog is yours. I hope you post again soon. I have been following. I am no longer going into this as a mockery or a laughing attempt. I am approaching this more seriously. There is a lot of interesting things I am learning by reading an online book I found recently called My Genes Made Me Do It. I would say it does go against the anti ex gay movement as well as the gay rights movements to some degree. Though it is not directly stated it is doing this rather much so. I am rather intrigued by it. Thanks for your concern. It means much to me.


Jayd


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
July 27, 2010, 2:08 pm

hey JaydWoods……considering that there is no scientific evidence both before and after ex-gay ministries came on the science that anyone can change their sexual orientation ….and considering that you have already accepted that you are gay…….and considering that you already know it wont work……it does seem a tad strange that you would invest time and energy in this.


One guy on the forum said he actually lost his 20′s trying to go from gay to straight in ex-gay programs……no living as a happy fulfilled gay man……he regrets that now.


I really believe that it will not be a waste a time as my goals are to have people really look into the different possibilities for those identifying in the GLBT community. I am very excited that there are organizations and online forums like this one that are both religious and accept the GLBT community. I think it is very beneficial for both religious organizations, GLBT organizations, psychological organizations, and ex gay comrades. And I have found an interesting book that debunks a lot of the ideas that sexuality is predominantly a result of birth alone. My Genes Made Me Do it has compelling evidence that shows some of the ideas that ex gays may have their ideas right with how we are socialized to be gay instead of just born that way.


Before this I would have generally looked at biological answers. However my mind is still open to this. Thank you for your concern and support. It is really appreciated.


Jayd


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 28, 2010, 2:16 am

are you knew to researching in this area JayD……there has been an enormous amount written about it. I’ve developed a substantial library over the last 10 years.


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
January 15, 2011, 7:58 am

I haven’t been involved on this forum for a long time and I have come to learn some things about myself and others since than. One of those things being that just because you think you have a brilliant controversial idea doesn’t mean you should go through with it.


I forgot that the people here on this forum were humans who have gone through loss and struggle and many people who had been sexually oppressed and religiously ridiculed by a distorted faith that didn’t practice the true value of love.


In the few cases in which people have claimed that they have switched their sexual orientations there was much more involved that included a false idea of what being gay contained of, meaning just because you have sex with the same sex once doesn’t mean you are gay. Just as living a “straight” life doesn’t mean you are truly straight. Also there is the factor of bisexuality that plays into “sexual orientation change”.


I had done this to drive traffic first off, and to prove something that had already been right before me. And that is there are churches who profit off from trying to change peoples sexual orientation. And many organizations will provide false statistics or blow statistics out of proportion in order to capitalize off from those who are struggling to understand their sexual orientation.


This was a selfish conceded act that I have come to understand as embarrassing and rude to those who have suffered through the “hell” that many gays and lesbians face when approached with the conflict between church and sexual orientation.


My apologies will never be enough.


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davidt
 
Joined in 2009
January 15, 2011, 10:42 am

In the 70s, I underwent aversion therapy on the pretext that my sexual orientation would be changed from gay to straight. They placed wires that measured temperature changes on your private parts and then showed you about 1000 pictures of men and 1000 of women over about 10 days. When I was aroused by seeing picture of men, they gave me fairly high voltages of electricity to “punish” me for being gay. In my case, the doctor’s machine never recorded a single thing when I saw all those pictures of nude women. They don’t do the electricity “punishments” anymore, because the published findings of that aversion therapy was that it didn’t work.


If a person claims to have been “cured”, they need to have done three things.


1. Have those body temperature tests done to prove they were gay in the first place.

2. Go out an get “cured” by whatever means.

3. Have those body temperature tests done several times over the next few years and remain silent, and let the doctors say if the person has had their orientation changed.


I asked the doctor how many had had their sexual orientation changed from gay to straight, and he said that over all the years they had done it while some who had wanted to change their behaviour had done so, (wait for it) NOT ONE had had their sexual orientation. So there is your answer!!


(It would have been interesting to know if they had tried to change some people’s orientation from straight to gay, using the same method, and how successful that was.)


Ex gay programs can do enormous damage that can take years to repair. Please don’t waste your time with them.


HINT

In scripture, a eunch is one without an attraction to the opposite sex.


Jesus said in Matt 19:12 “For some are eunchs because they were born that way….The one who can accept it should accept it.” Just accept accept yourself as being gay. Be proud of the way God God created you. Enjoy being gay. It is absolutely fine. God didn’t make any mistakes when He created you.


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
January 15, 2011, 10:57 am

These are the sorts of stories that aggravate me and make me feel bad for trying to change it. I can’t believe they did that to you. That is so ridiculous. I feel so terrible and please read my apology above.


The ex gay subject has to be the most absurd thing within all of the lgbt hate anyone could be exposed to. This is ludicrous to me. I am so sorry for have ever falsely trying to change my sexual orientation.


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Ann Maree
Chief Moderator
Joined in 2008
January 15, 2011, 11:44 am

Hi Jaydwoods


Thanks for your apology. It means a lot that you have reflected and gained some insights about how painful and damaging ex gay experiences are for those in our community.


Try not to punish yourself. We all make mistakes. The main thing is to learn from them and adjust our path – which is what you are doing.


Blessings,


Ann Maree


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
January 15, 2011, 11:55 am

:) Thanks


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 15, 2011, 12:27 pm

Hey JaydWoods…….whilst I had misgivings about where you were going with your original goal……..we at freedom 2 b[e] very much respect each individuals right to choose their own journey……even if that means rejecting their sexual orientation or rejecting their faith.


We have all been on various journeys. Hopefully being honest with ourselves and others though is a priority for us all.


your willingness to be honest here, reveal your previous hidden agendas and your sincere apology shows great maturity and strength of character. one can not help but admire you for this.


Much appreciated


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Ann Maree
Chief Moderator
Joined in 2008
January 15, 2011, 1:17 pm

Hi again JaydWoods


I heartily second what avb has written above. Well put, avb! :)


Blessings,


Ann Maree


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JaydWoods
 
Joined in 2010
January 15, 2011, 1:36 pm

Thank you both! I will be looking forward to learning some more about the people here at freedom2b as well as some other forums on the web. =)


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Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
January 15, 2011, 4:55 pm

JaydWoods, it takes guts to admit when you’ve made a mistake, to own the responsibility for it, and to do your best to make amends. I admire anyone who does that. The important thing is that you have learned something and gained a deeper insight through your experience and that is a good thing. Thank you for your apology.


Blessings,

Meg


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