I was today reflecting on my journey of two years this month since accepting my gay identity. As most of my friends and people here on the forum know, I am a passionate advocate of diversity in all of its guises, including disability, non-english speaking backgrounds, and of course, LGBT issues.

The continuum model at http://gayambassador2.blogspot.com/ that freedom2b[e[ uses has been an integral part of that journey for me, and I can vividly remember my initial attitude towards LGBT people being very much one of dislike. This attitude was ingrained into me by a pentecostal system that does not tolerate homosexuality in any form, and in many ways, I felt cheated that I did not have access to information about sexual orientation that would have allowed me to question why that church system held those particular beliefs, and discover the biblical truths about homosexuality.

Realising that we are all at different stages of our journey, my question is what can or should we do individually that will move us along the continuum towards advocacy?

Yep, that’s an excellent point you make Ann Maree about seeing and engaging with the whole person, instead of the sum of the individual parts, which I think is incredibly discriminatory. I want people to see me as someone who connects equally with everyone, regardless of their (dis)ability, background or sexual orientation. It would be interesting to hear what other’s experiences are, and what actions they took to move along the continuum.

Yes I agree avb. It is a great question that mobileguy has raised. And yes, we do need to be in the mix with different people, practising a love of diversity (for those we perceive as different to us), and thus modelling how we want our own diversity to be loved. This then gives the church and others a chance to see us as part of the group rather than separate, helping to banish the ‘us and them’ mentality. I’m not necessarily subscribing a return to church (unless people want to) but for opportunities to socialise with those who need us (i.e. christians and church leaders) as well as those we want to be with.

mobileguy, re your comment about seeing people as the sum of their parts, sadly I think labels restrict further than that. They often allow us to only see one part and nothing else. And that one part becomes distorted because of not being seen in a correct context, even lacking in accuracy due to the perceiver looking through stereotypes.

Sounds great, mobileguy. I’d be interested in hearing more about this book and the ideas therein.

I recall participating in a powerful team exercise in a UK workplace. An external facilitator/educator directed us to get into 2 groups. One was the ‘straight’ group and the other, the ‘LGBT’. Each team had to spend time brain storming to identify their best traits and skills (as relating to either straight or LGBT) and then present these to the other team. The idea was that we were each applying for immigration to enter the other’s planet, selling our strengths for why we should be allowed entry and what we would bring to the other culture. We were encouraged to be creative and there were some very humourous concepts that came out and lots of laughter. However, no matter how good the arguments and presentations, the immigration team (the alternate group) had to deny the applying team entry. We each swapped roles so both groups experienced rejection as well as doing the rejecting. We then had to note how that felt to be rejected, knowing that no matter what was said, the outcome was sealed. This was discussed as well as our experience of being in the rejecting role.

The outcome was that some straight people were devastated by the experience and found this to be like an epiphany as to how it must feel to be gay/ in a minority and regularly suffer like this. One comment was: “Wow! I feel so awful being rejected in this one exercise so how bad must it be to have to live with this on a regular basis just for being who you are?” There was an instant shot of empathy with resulting attitude and behavioural change in a few people from then on. The presenter followed the exercise and discussion with a short powerpoint of the stats outlining the kinds of prejudice/diadvantage/rejection that LGBT faced on a regular basis as well as suicide and depression rates. Some of my colleagues were incredibly moved and changed by that workshop. It gives me hope to remember that.

love someone else who reads heavy stuff like myself…..hehe