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Christian woman,age 35, learning and still lots to discover

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p3375
 
Joined in 2010
May 25, 2010, 11:11 pm

Was married, now divorced, no kids. Firmly in ‘stealth mode’ when it comes to my sexuality. this mostly due to my own cowardice but also the real certainty that I’d not be able to do my job in this community if it was known. (location has a bit to do with that – Lynchburg, VA isn’t a very tolerant town re: gays)


Ok, those things I’m sure of. The rest – not so much.


Am either bisexual or lesbian, don’t realy know right now. Am definately Christian, but not so sure God is ‘ok’ with my being a lesbian, or whatever it is that I am. Guess I’m in the “I believe – God help my unbelief” kind of place. Raised in a very conservative strict Baptist church and 30+ years of hearing “God loves the sinner but hates the sin” and “abomination before God” when talking bout homosexuality is hard to re-learn.


Here to learn and hopefully discover – about myself and God and how we relate to each other.

P
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myjourney316
 
Joined in 2010
May 26, 2010, 6:16 am

Hi!

i’m finding out that your story, much like mine, is not unique. i am just discovering this site as well and my prayer is that i am able to find some sort of resolution. i, too, come from a background of firmly believing that being gay is a sin. although, i would argue that i was born this way, i am still not convinced that i am able to live it out. so our journey is much the same BUT i am still married and have 3 young children.

what i’ve learned so far … God loves me just as i am, there is NO question about that. other’s perception of you is on THEM not you. be confident of who you are and know that ALL of us (the whole human race) are works in progress.


journeying together on freedom 2 b[e] …
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Ann Maree
Chief Moderator
Joined in 2008
May 26, 2010, 11:04 am

Hi p3335


Welcome to f2b! How did you find us?


You are in a supportive place at this site where you can be however you are and explore your beliefs without judgment.


It can be difficult to shift those internalised beliefs instilled by damaging, surface interpretations of the bible. For an alternative scripture interpretation, I recommend watching the dvd of ‘For The Bible Tells Me So’ if you can get hold of it from a gay friendly or alternative video shop/bookstore. You may even be able to order it online.


The good news is that negative and unhelpful beliefs can be changed. :) I’m at peace after reading more deeply into the bible and meeting lots of beautiful gay people over the years. My spirit has known the love in them is of God and the fact that pure love can never be ungodly.


I look forward to hearing more from you.


Blessings,


Ann Maree
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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 26, 2010, 11:40 pm

welcome p3375……great that you have found us. Trust that you find this a safe welcoming and supportive place here.


Lynchburg……well……bit of a stronghold of Christian fundamentalism isn’t it.


I’ve been to Virginia but not to Lynchburg as far as I remember unless I drove through it. Mind you…..that was in the 1980′s……hehe.


You’ll find people here at different stages…..some where you are currently at……some who have moved on a little and others who sorted it all our years ago…….but we are all here for each other.


As ann maree mentioned it can take years to work through the negative conditioning.
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p3375
 
Joined in 2010
May 28, 2010, 8:36 pm

Thanks, AnnMaree. I’ll see if I can find the dvd..


How did I find f2b? I just kind of stumbled into it accidentally. Was searching the ‘net’, guess as part of my wandering round trying to wrestle with my core belief (Christianity) and my sexuality.


Thanks for the encouragment. I’m so glad you’ve found peace. Is helpful to hear


P
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p3375
 
Joined in 2010
May 28, 2010, 8:41 pm

Thanks, AV – I’m already liking this site a lot. Learning, but as you say, will probably take time. It’s very helpful to read about other people who are going thru the same process.

P
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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 28, 2010, 11:18 pm

How did I find f2b? I just kind of stumbled into it accidentally. Was searching the ‘net’, guess as part of my wandering round trying to wrestle with my core belief (Christianity) and my sexuality.

P


thank God for the internet……how would we have ever found each other with out it.
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Ann Maree
Chief Moderator
Joined in 2008
May 29, 2010, 7:30 am

Hi p335


Hopefully you’ll be able to find that dvd without a problem. I think you’ll like it.


Things do definitely get better, and with supports such as this site, the process is made a lot more bearable. You’ll get to the peace you’re looking for, but for now just put one foot in front of the other.


Blessings,


Ann Maree
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