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The Sy Rogers Story

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
September 6, 2009, 1:40 pm

this article has been written for some time now but I have been reluctant to put this up here……but as so many have mentioned Sy to me….have seen his videos or heard him preach live…..and now this article is already up on the net.. http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/22698.htm ..I thought I should also put it up here. this may answer some of the questions I’m constantly asked.


THE SY ROGERS STORY

(An Anthony Venn-Brown Perspective)


Sy Rogers is a gifted communicator and has an amazing story of redemption and the grace of God. Our dialogue has been limited but has always been gracious and respectful. I’d heard many negative things about Sy but our meeting in Sydney in 2007 dispelled many of these.


When Sy was converted in the late 70’s, even though homosexuality had been removed from the list of psychological disorders and laws were changing that had classed gay men as criminals, there was still a great deal of ignorance about sexual orientation. This was particularly so in the church. I was converted in 1969 when the concept of a gay Christian was inconceivable and my life was understandably steered in a particular direction. Was I receiving Christ today I hope that my pastor would be well informed and help me to see that my morality is a choice but my sexual orientation isn’t and that I could lead a life that honoured God as a gay young man. Today there are many fine gay Christians and a growing number of churches which welcome and affirm them.


There are still many who speak of Sy as an ‘ex-gay’ and that he preaches a re-orientation message. I don’t believe Sy would use that term to describe himself or believes that people need to be ‘healed’ of their homosexuality. His message these days is healing for all both gay and straight; a person’s sexual orientation is not the issue. I trust that these insights help dispel some of the confusion and bring a more balanced view of Sy’s ministry.



The Complexities of the Sy Rogers Story


1. Homosexuality vs trangenderism

To listen, in length, to the Sy story is to realise that it is not a simple story of gay man becomes straight. Firstly, Sy is transgender which occurs in the womb and remains with a person throughout life. If you are well informed about sexual orientation and what it means to be transgender, then you will be aware that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different wiring systems in the brain. For example, some transgender men are sexually attracted to women and some to men. This is often confusing for heterosexuals to understand as their brains are aligned harmoniously with their gender identity.


Sy lived as a woman for some time and was in the process of seeking gender re-assignment surgery when he was converted to Christ. Throw into his story years of sexual abuse, a self destructive lifestyle (not an exclusively homosexual experience), meaningless sexual encounters and a dysfunctional family upbringing (mother was an alcoholic) then it becomes a maze of issues. The sexual abuse issues are the ones Sy has most recently had to resolve. Probably the miracle in Sy’s Rogers story is similar to mine: we are still alive to tell the story.


Problems develop when Sy speaks to church audiences who are relatively uneducated about sexuality and transgenderism. I’m sure there are still are large number of people in churches who naively believe all homosexual men want to dress and live as a woman and all lesbians wish they could be men. This is far from reality for the average gay man or lesbian. When uninformed Christians, with an already negative attitude towards homosexuality, hear Sy’s story, it’s easy for them to make false assumptions.


2. Terminology

Different terms appear in Sy’s story, homosexual, gay, transsexual, transgender, all mixed together and are hard for the average person to separate. One of the myths often presented in many church cultures is that ALL gay men and lesbians are highly immoral, drug taking reprobates who live a ‘homosexual lifestyle’. Sy’s story carries much of that stereotype which, for those of us who are a part of the gay community(as opposed to the ‘gay scene’), know is only reflective of a subculture and once again not exclusively homosexual. Heterosexuals live the same ‘lifestyle’.


3. Does Marriage = Heterosexual?

My assumption is that Sy would not actually claim that he is totally heterosexual today, but, because he is married to a woman, many would try and tell us that this indicates a change in sexual orientation. “Heterosexual functionality’ is not being heterosexual any many more than heterosexual men engaging in same sex activity in prison makes them homosexual. I’ve never met an ‘ex-gay’ who can honestly say their orientation, instincts, fantasies and desires are now heterosexual. In other words, that they think and function like normal heterosexual men. I was also married to a woman for 16 years and fathered children but it didn’t make me straight. You can change behaviours, control thoughts, resist temptations and lessen same sex opportunities but you can’t change inbuilt orientation. There is a substantial amount of scientific research that demonstrates this. Sy has chosen to be in a heterosexual marriage. I have to respect Sy and his wife’s choice and anyone else who chooses to live that way.


Personally, at the age of 40, I could no longer live with the inconsistency of presenting one thing to those around me and being another person inside. It was unsustainable and the disconnect created unhealthy behaviours and mental health issues.


The Ambiguities


To assume that Sy is an ‘ex-gay’ and that he believes all gay men and lesbians must become heterosexual raises several ambiguities.


1. Ambiguity No. 1. Sy has not been on the board of Exodus for quite some time. Possibly not actively involved at a board level for 15 years. He has spoken at some Exodus conferences though. He is last mentioned on the history page of their website in 1996.

2. Ambiguity No. 2. The Sy Rogers website makes no mention of homosexuality or ex-gay ministries.

3. Ambiguity No. 3. The Choices ex-gay ministry established by Sy (I believe), at the Singaporean Church of Our Saviour in 1991 still exists, but Sy is no longer involved and his name is not mentioned on records of it’s history.

4. Ambiguity No. 4. Sitting in the Sense and Sexuality Seminar at Hillsong in 2007, Sy spoke about purity of thought life, addictions, sexual abuse and wholeness without ever identifying heterosexuality as being more wholesome than homosexuality. From memory, I can’t really remember the word homosexual being used at the seminar. (Although he did mention those words of course when he told his story at the Sunday services). At the Sense & Sexuality Seminar, he spoke only of living a life that is pleasing to God and healthy for the individual. Was that because I’d been sitting with him in the front row of the church? I tend to think not.


What about all the books, tapes and videos?


There are still Sy Rogers videos and publications out there which tell a different story and people promote him as an ‘ex-gay’. It’s been over two decades now since some of that original material was created and during that time there has been much scientific research on the subject of sexual orientation. It’s unfortunate that some of these resources are being used to promote a falsehood that God miraculously makes gay people straight. Sadly some Christians have used these materials to push their own agenda which has resulted in untold suffering and even suicides. I’m currently working with a 40 year old man who has been involved in Exodus here in Australia for 20 years. His words to me tell it all. ‘I was sold a very cruel lie’. One his wife and children are currently trying to painfully unravel.


Finally, I do wonder, considering the recent growth of the GLBT Christian movement and that many more churches have become welcoming of GLBT people, that if Sy had been converted today instead of three decades ago, if his journey might have been a very different one.


If you’d like to read more about the changes in the Christian world’s attitude towards and thinking about homosexuality, you can read this article on my blog. Celebrating Our Future – the times, they are a changin’. http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/2008/07/celebrating-our-future.html

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.


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Qwerty
 
Joined in 2009
September 11, 2009, 7:37 pm

Hi everyone,


I remember hearing Sy Rogers speak at a festival in New Zealand (early 90′s) and feeling awful. If he could change, why couldn’t I? Why did the exodus program make me feel completely worthless, incompetent and weak?

My journey took me through years of depression, I nearly walked away from church altogether because it was just too painful being in a place where I could not fit in.

I had to educate myself, convince myself that Sy was wrong – and that God likes me, loves me just the way I am, the way he created me.


:)


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hereiam
 
Joined in 2009
September 17, 2009, 6:12 pm

Dont know if it interests anyone but Sy will be speaking on the Sunshine coast in October. not sure times etc but its the 9th-11th Oct.


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Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 4, 2009, 10:01 pm

Sy will be speaking at Kings Buderim on 9-10th October.


Friday 9th October 7-9PM Sense & Sexuality #1


Saturday 10th October 10AM-1PM Sexual Healing Seminar

(Cost $20/pp inc morning tea. child minding available.)


Saturday 10th October 7-9PM Sense and Sexuality #2


Sunday 11th October Sy Rogers in the hot seat.


For more information or to book for the Sexual Healing Seminar contact 54539000


http://www.kings.org.au/sense-sexuality-weekend-with-sy-rogers-at-kings/


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sman
 
Joined in 2009
October 5, 2009, 4:01 am

Just been listening to the man on Reality Zone… Hmm…


http://www.myspace.com/therealityzone


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Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 5, 2009, 4:46 am

Went to listen to that, too. He still seems to be preaching that homosexuals can change and that to really press in to God, I need to leave my committed partnership and turn away from my ‘weakness.’


That’s what I am hearing in his message. I might be coloring it with my own views, but I don’t think I am.


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 5, 2009, 9:51 am

I often wonder how Sy would respond if we got all the people who had listened to his story….and assumed that he had now changed from gay to straight….then they tried unsuccessfully to change….often with much internal torment, depression, self hatred, thoughts of/and attempts of suicide and loss of faith…some even marrying seeing Sy as the mentor but because they were gay the marriage is unsustainable…..but had now found total resolution of their faith and/or their sexuality….and we got them all to write and tell them their stories.


many that I speak with feel ripped off, angry about the unnecessary suffering and wasted lives.


I believe in essence Sy is a compassionate person…..I wonder if he would be touched. Would he acknowledge that many have found faith and resolution by accepting their same sex orientation? And whilst his life was totally tortured in many ways they there are those like gettingthere…hillsben…and many others not only on this forum but many others around the world who have embraced who they are early in life with little or no conflict.


what do you think?


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sman
 
Joined in 2009
October 5, 2009, 12:13 pm

I agree with you Anthony. If he could only hear our stories and see the amazing things God does in our lives without any change. The worst thing is the friends I have had, used what he says to explain that Homosexuality can be changed and that if you choose not to change its your choice but not Gods. I would like the parents of those who lost children to speak with him too and see that it causes a lot of people so much pain to try and change themselves. Maybe even if he was to just get on this site and see all the wonderful stories of so many different people from different walks of life. He said in that interview that Gay people can come to God in one breath and in the other that Gay people can be set free.


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 5, 2009, 12:54 pm

….and also how many have married believing that what Sy says and represents is the ultimate expression of God’s healing….only to find it unsustainable….leaving the wife and children devastated and having to begin life again. I think his message on sexual healing and wholeness is good…..as this is a human problem……but I think his message on homosexuality is damaging and destructive……as the first point of contact for so many people….I’ve heard toooooo many tragic stories. Stories that Sy will never here….unless I do something.


Possibly some of his comments on the radio program were a response to the article I wrote that is now on several places on the internet.


Some of what he says is good….like speaking against some Christians obsession with being anti-gay…….and to allow God to lead a person on their journey. I dont believe this is something he would have said some decades…so this is a step forward.


Sy is viewing homosexuality through his own broken experience I feel. I look forward to the day when Sy says….I’ve met many lovely gay Christians who are whole and healed…….and still gay. Many even in long term committed relationships. this is the truth. The brokenness is the issue…..not the orientation.


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Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 5, 2009, 1:21 pm

I was surprised at the depth of anger I heard from my own sweet partner when I showed her the leaflet I got at church last night about Sy’s seminar. She is such an easygoing and laid back person who doesn’t ‘rant’ the way that I can be known to do, but she spoke with deep anger and hurt, about hearing Sy speak many years ago at an exodus conference.


Anthony, he obviously said some things back then, that deeply upset and angered her…


I showed her your article about Sy, and she then did some research of her own, and this was the gist of her response:


“If Sy Rogers has changed his thinking about gay and lesbian people being able to change, if he has ended his association with Exodus based on that change of thinking, if he has made some kind of a turnaround–and I don’t believe he has but if he has, then he needs to come out publicly and say so, and I won’t hear a word he has to say until he does, and until he apologizes for the untold damage he has done.”


Maybe we should get a group of people together to write to him?


It might make a difference. My sexual experience was certainly more ‘broken’ when I was trying to live het, than it is now that I have faced my truth and found a loving committed relationship with a same sex partner and I would happily tell him so. My entire life was broken when I lived that lie.


All I ever got from God on it, when I prayed and prayed to be released from my ‘cup’ was: “The Lord God desires truth in the innermost being.” It took me many years and many struggles to realise that the truth he desired of me is the truth I now live.


The Bible (and pastors) tell us that when we ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, He will never lead us into error. I asked for His guidance; I begged for it and I cannot believe he led me into error. If he did, then that would make God a liar.


okay…I will put away the soapbox now.

:lol:


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 5, 2009, 4:31 pm

yep…..Sy never influenced my life so I don’t have the triggers. I totally understand your partners response . I come across it all the time. I’ve often thought of creating a website focusing on this….but also had to balance the possibility of dialogue….thats a tufff tight-rope to walk believe me.


I think Sy has experienced the venom of gay activists…..hence him flying under the radar mostly and not doing any media……but possibly he has yet to experience the intense anger, bitterness and frustration from those who bought the Sy tapes, watched the Sy videos and read the Sy books….only to find out years later it didn’t work……..or as one man (involved with Exodus for 20 years) said to me……”I was sold a very cruel lie”.


Possibly we should begin by all of us putting the link http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/404 to this thread on our facebook pages.


like this http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/gayambassador?ref=profile


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murrayd
 
Joined in 2009
November 13, 2009, 12:52 am

I would love to know sy’s reply as to Thinking as a ex Gay. The mind is one part of the body that does not change.Does he look at a male and feel nothing. If he does then he could be changed. But if he was absolutely true i am sure that He would have to say that He still had feelings that supported that he was still Gay.Then he would be living a lie.Remember that the Bible said that truth will set you free. I will always be gay because Ti think as a gay person.


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
November 13, 2009, 12:23 pm

yep…..no-one actually changes from being gay to straight…..this is the myth that many within the ex-gay movement keep alive by not correcting peoples perceptions. Most christians are totally uneducated about sexual orientation and think that because a person is married (and therefore have sex with their wives)….that they have become straight.


I call it ‘situational heterosexuality’…..its a degree of heterosexual functionality but its not a change in orientation.


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pingtimeout
 
Joined in 2009
January 10, 2010, 7:03 am

FTR I was basically made to listen to 8 of his tapes and then go to see him speak here in Perth (at Rhema/Riverview, which was his base church when he visited Perth) in late 1996, and it was definitely a very strongly “ex-gay” message at that point. He spoke about “sexual brokenness” and made it very, very clear that he saw homosexuality as a manifestation of this. He talked about his own experience as if all gay people had come through his own path (the abuse, drugs, transexual stuff etc). I was 18 at the time and my parents were convinced it was a phase I was going through, and a family friend active in the church recommended his stuff. I think they all honestly believed if I listened to the tapes and went and saw him speak I’d somehow snap out of it. I’m a fair person but also a strong one – I may rabidly disagree with what someone says but I will hear them out, so I did listen to all 8 tapes and to his message at the church.


Thankfully, seeing him kind of shut my dad up – he went with me, and didn’t come away with a very positive impression. (In essence, didn’t believe he was a very good example of a cured gay person.)


Probably my lack of anger or distress about the situation simply reflects I was already out four months by the time this happened and I was both pretty secure in my sexual identity and pretty distant from the church by then. Agreed very much with Anthony that many Christians live in a state of ignorance about homosexuality – we used to have these bizarre stories and “surveys” about alleged sexual behaviour quoted to us in youth group and at church and etc. (I heard these from as young as 13-14.) I found out years later online that the sample size was about 300 and they found them at an AIDS clinic somewhere in the US, so it wasn’t what I would call a reliable sample of the overall gay population


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murrayd
 
Joined in 2009
January 10, 2010, 11:52 am

If Sy was healed as he tells us . Wouldnt God have healed his mannerisms and voice. also. I know that deep down he would have to admit that he still thought as a gay person.I know because I am celebate but still know that I am gay.I think as a gay person.In my earlier life I prayed that God would take homosexuallity right away. I now know that he loves me just as I am. I long that he could say the same and be honest with himself. Be true to oneself. ;)


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murrayd
 
Joined in 2009
January 10, 2010, 11:56 am

I am sure that your father being straight could have seen a Gay man up on the platform. That is probably to see Sy as he really looked.


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 10, 2010, 3:41 pm

I have a strong sense that if Sy reeeeeeeeeeeeally know just how much suffering those tapes and videos have caused….it might prompt him to state some new understandings.


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Sharon
 
Joined in 2010
May 25, 2010, 2:00 am

I heard Sy Rogers speak at a couple of events in Auckland, New Zealand, in 1996 (while I was going through my ‘ex gay’ conversion course “Living Waters”) and I was amazed and enthralled and totally entertained! Like the American Andy Comiskey, founder of Living Waters, Sy looks and sounds like a gay man, but they are both married to their respective wives and to all intents and purposes gave the impression that they have been converted to the hetero lifestyle and are extremely happy. You never got to meet the wives, though, huh? They didn’t seem to take them anywhere on their trips! Why is that?


As to the question of “what is Sy really saying” I suppose we can all go to church and hear the same ‘sermon’ and come away feeling convicted (or not), or offended (or not), or blessed (or not), or inspired (or not), depending on our situation and mindset (or soul-set) at the time.


I suppose for me, because I was in ‘conversion’ mode when I heard Sy speak, I completely absorbed everything he had to say, and agreed with it. I felt inspired that if he could move on (straighten out), so could I.


I don’t think Sy has any intention of hurting anyone with his words. On the contrary, I think Sy genuinely loves people and is passionate about helping them.


Sy is a straight talker, though, that’s for sure. Especially when it comes to pre-marital sex! I remember vividly him holding up his left hand and pointing to his wedding ring and saying “If you don’t wear this, you haven’t earned the right!” In other words you need to grow up, take responsibility, get committed and stay committed. Interesting ….


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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 26, 2010, 11:46 pm

mmmmmm…..interesting comment Sharon…..very interesting.


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Ann Maree
Moderator
Joined in 2008
May 27, 2010, 1:31 am

Just on Sy Rogers comment about marriage earning him the right to have sex: People have to learn to drive and prove their skills by getting a licence before being allowed to drive independently. And yet any heterosexual or gay person pretending to be hetero of a certain age can go to Vegas or elsewhere and get married. How is that earning the right? And I don’t think a wedding ring means that someone has earned the right to a sexual relationship!! Earning something implies that work has been done to get to that stage of commitment. I mean I take his implied point that commitment suggests respect and other qualities are present that will support and underpin a sexual relationship rather than the union being a purely physical connection which is not likely to last long term. But are those sustainable qualities really there just because someone decides to marry? Anyone in the early stages of passion may just be caught up in their feelings or good intentions and not realise they don’t have the basic foundations to maintain a long term marriage. I believe it’s ideal to develop other aspects of the relationship before entering into sexual intimacy. However, merely making a declaration of commitment is not enough to grant a sexual relationship or make a marriage work.


Personally, I wish that extensive marriage and life skills training was compulsory before people tied the knot. This would help them know a bit more of what they’re entering into and perhaps spare those who are really not meant to marry. It might also provide a sense of something truly earned while allowing participants to be better equipped to manage the ups and downs of relationship.


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