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Video - Ex-gay Survivors Conference in Florida November 2009

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Anthony Venn-Brown

Joined in 2005

January 10, 2010, 10:36 pm

The 2009 ANTI-HETEROSEXISM CONFERENCE took place November 20-22, 2009 in West Palm Beach, FL and featured some of the most brilliant teachers and thinkers on the subject of psychology and human sexuality and spirituality from the United States, Canada, Australia and Spain.

The opening session features a number of people who are leading the work to end so-called “reparative therapy.” Featured speakers are Jeff Lutes, then Executive Director of Soulforce with welcoming and opening remarks; Christine Bakke of Beyond Ex-Gay; Jacob Wilson, Iowa State; Daniel Gonzales, architect and former patient of Dr. Joseph Nicolosi; Darlene Bogle, author and former leader in Exodus International; Anthony Venn Brown, author,co-founder of Freedom2 b[e] and voted twice one of the 25 most influential gays and lesbians in Australia; Marc Orozko and Angel Llorent, activists and ex-gay survivors from Barcelonia, Catalonia, Spain; and Dr. Jallen Rix, author and ex-gay survivor.The 2009 ANTI-HETEROSEXISM CONFERENCE took place November 20-22, 2009 in West Palm Beach, FL and featured some of the most brilliant teachers and thinkers on the subject of psychology and human sexuality and spirituality from the United States, Canada, Australia and Spain.

Reflections from Survivors of Ex-Gay Ministries & Reparative Therapy from SOULFORCE on Vimeo.

Ann Maree
Moderator
Joined in 2008

January 16, 2010, 4:48 pm

Hi avb

It took me a while to watch the whole thing through, partly because my computer is so slow which meant the messages were not that clear, and partly because the first guy’s ex gay experiences were so painful. I mean, people have to know that publicly being made to declare your sexual acts, as he was, in front of parents and others you wouldn’t normally share these things with, is a form of sexual abuse. And the fact that the poor families and friends were berated as well as the gay persons, meant that the damage done was even greater than I’d imagined. That said, not all the stories were as heavy as that one so I’m glad I persisted. I got the sense there was lots of healing within the group and in the connections between the various parties. It felt hopeful which is more than I expected. Did you find it that way as someone who was there and who went through such a painful thing as the ex gay ministry and related events?

It’s good to see how people are finding ways to share and then move beyond pain to freedom, abundance and greater purpose. Thanks for sharing that with us.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Anthony Venn-Brown

Joined in 2005

January 17, 2010, 12:56 pm

personally Ann Maree…..I’m very blessed….resolved and healed. Not everyone is as fortunate. it can take year…..for some even decades to look at it….acknowledge it…..forgive….let go and move on.

having said that though……..when I saw the movie save me.last year….it triggered so many memories of the space i was in emotionally and psychologically in the early 70′s in my live in ex-gay program……was reminded of the public humiliation…..the isolation of leaving friends and family……the cruelty of the female leader….etc etc. ( http://gayambassador.blogspot.com/2008/06/chapter-7-rehab-with-twist-ex-gay.html )…..that i was a sobbing blithering mess at the end of the movie and couldn’t leave for some time…….my friends were shocked as they had never seen me in that state. When we showed the movie again at our freedom 2 b[e] meeting I couldn’t watch all of it….and had to shut down myself emotionallly.

Imagine that……….after thirty something years……..the impact of the trauma still lies buried in the subconscious…..and I’m a resolved person………imagine what its like for those who have not found peace.

this is one reason why I feel our MG theme this year is so important………healing can come to others if they are prepared to ‘come out’ about their ex-gay experience.

Ann Maree
Moderator
Joined in 2008

January 18, 2010, 2:39 am

Oh I’m so sorry this happened to you and others.

The unconscious is an amazing thing and I’m reminded of the layers you’ve referred to a few times before in other posts. Those layers are there even when we’re not aware. I understand how with such a complex and traumatic thing, that you would still have that response and yet otherwise be OK. I get that you’re healed and have resolved the issues. … I think with something as significant as the ex gay abuse, the shadows or scars remain as reminders. And yet at the same time you’ve managed to move on. I think that’s totally normal, avb, and I don’t think the emotional outburst you had negates the progress you’ve made. And I take my hat off to you and the many others who have lived through those experiences, survived and thrived.

And yes, I agree that the theme for the mardi gras is a really important one. The more survivors are able to talk about their suffering and hellish ordeals with supportive others, the more healing can happen.

Anthony Venn-Brown

Joined in 2005

January 18, 2010, 11:57 am

thanks Ann Maree…..i think my conclusion on this journey is that even though one finds resolution, forgiveness of others and self…….the emotions still exist at a cellular level……..and certain things can trigger it at any time. This does not indicate that one is still stuck……its more of a chemical thing.

Ann Maree
Moderator
Joined in 2008

January 18, 2010, 3:13 pm

You’re welcome, avb. Yeah I couldn’t agree more. My counselling teacher used to say that our bodies have memory cells and can therefore tell us a lot if we listen. In practice (and I’m pretty sure in research) I’ve found this to be true, especially in abuse situations. We are amazingly made, I think.

Anthony Venn-Brown

Joined in 2005

January 18, 2010, 5:03 pm

….and complex…..

Ann Maree
Moderator
Joined in 2008

January 21, 2010, 3:43 am

Hehe ..yes, true.

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