Never in my wildest dreams: Journey of a boi 19 to a man 40

Welcome welcome welcome mobile guy.

I know the feeling......never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be out, happy, have such wonderful friends.....and never....no never imagined I'd start a group to support GLBT people from Pente backgrounds.

Hope to hear more from you in the future.

Thanks Anthony for your encouraging words It's been 12 months now since I left that Pente church - haven't heard a peep from anyone there since but hey ... I'm looking forward, not back

Was listening to 103.2 FM radio this morning for the first time since Heaven knows how long! I used to listen to it all the time. I guess I just shut down my Christian belief system to cope with the pain caused. I still believe in love (1 Corinthians 13 - one of the best chapters in the Bible!!!) healings and miracles. Still working through some of the more spiritual aspects though

Hey Mobileguy, great to have you here welcome
I think most of us have gone thru the Christian shut down period, I know I did, i couldnt even read a Bible without a panic attack, the only books I read was Enid Blyton :oops: but it helped but for 2 weeks I was on valiums because I had an emotional breakdown, I had gone thru spiritual abuse at church from a Cell group (10yrs ago), Im all good now tho you do get back to it when youre ready but a little wiser.

as I think you've read already......I shut my belief system down for 6 years. Actually never planned to go back there.

If someone mentioned the word god.....I'd have a pannick attack.....literally.

If you can begin to look or even talk about any of that stuff I think shows the healing is beginning.

Hey magsdee,

Thanks heaps for sharing your insights with us. I've read about some terrible cases of spiritual abuse in churches. Anyways, it's onwards and upwards for me

Yes indeed, onward and upward and a time of refreshing

Just thought I'd update everyone on my journey thus far ...
There has been some amazing progress in rediscovering my spirituality, namely the identification of 3 central beliefs that define my relationships with God and other people; Healing, Peace and Love. Through these, I am able to come to a place of restitution and sanctuary, where the broken is once again restored and made whole again.

Thats an awesome place to be How encouraging.

oh what a feeling.......when the questions are answered and we also realise that we don't need all the questions answered.

Healing, Peace and Love......how simple yet profound and powerful

Yes indeed, and they are not exclusively Christian principles, but are Universal in their nature regardless of faith or denomination. Everyone in the GLBTIQ community has the right to experience these at some point in their journey.

At the risk of uh... overreacting Can I just point out that concepts like peace, healing and love are determined generally more by context and the individual than by any kind of universal definition. Indeed. ex-gay groups use healing as one of their founding principals and Im sure love is in there too somewhere. And yet alot of people leave needing healing from the "healing".

I just think its interesting the way opposing ideas and philosophies can use the same concepts but with totally different outlooks and results. It means you need a really specific definiton of what they each mean for you in your life because as you are already aware its not universal and different people see it differently

Nope, pretty sure that wasn't overreacting...

Generally agreed, and I'll clarify so you have a better idea of my context As a gay Christian, I see so much and have experienced a lot of discrimination and bigotry towards minorities such as the GLBTIQ community. The concepts of Healing, Peace and Love can (and should in my personal opinion) act as a type of bridge to bring people of different backgrounds together in mutual friendship and respect for each other. In a simple Christian way, love your neighbour as you would yourself

treating others the way I would like to be treated myself has become central to the way I try and interact with others since I genuinely began to love and accept myself.

Hi all, I thought I'd post an update on my journey thus far ...

It's been just over a year since I started participating in Freedom2b[e], and during that time I have connected with many GLBT friends, both online and at the monthly Sydney Chapter meetings The highlight of this time has surely been the Mardi Gras parade earlier this year (my first ) I can also honestly say that my understanding of GLBT issues has greatly increased my appreciation for those of us who champion equality and acceptance amongst the wider community and in the churches.

On a personal level, I've been able to recently acquire an apartment in inner Sydney, something that I thought would be next to impossible since moving back here from interstate a few years ago. I have also come to appreciate that being double-minded about things doesn't really get me anywhere ... much It's also not scriptural But it's great to know that I can make a difference in peoples lives, and that God accepts me and my sexual orientation no matter what.

Thats great Mobileguy its a wonderful place to get to and so good that you see yourself as acceptable and important plus we also need you here and the great work you are doing. All of us are vital in making a difference no matter where we are

thats very encouraging mobilegiuy......does the username mobileguy mean you will move a lot....

its always very rewarding to observe peoples journeys.....you are doing well. Funny you should mention the double minded thing....I often quote that myself....and feel that it is something I've been experiencing myself for way tooooo long.

Not if I can help it I've been moving around now for too long. It's time to settle in one place and enjoy life and all it has to offer

Today I went on a journey to a far, far away place ... and something wonderful happened ... I realised for possibly the first time ... that the journey is part of the destination ... it was like a microcosm of selected life experiences ... people speaking in foreign languages (where have I heard that before ) ... identifying significant milestones along the way ... places I'd been to before in my earlier childhood ... the whole (train) journey was nearly as good (if not as good) as the destination itself ...

interesting experience and revelation by the sound of it mobileguy

I'm greatly encouraged by the restoration in your life - as it's all come back together.
The God of all grace will restore, establish and strengthen you'

Hi mobileguy

Great to hear your story. How are you going on the journey?

Ann Maree

Sorry I've taken a bit longer to respond here. My professional life ie work gets insanely busy at times and it's an issue that I constantly have to monitor lest I let it overtake and consume me like some monster that doesn't know when they've had enough

The journey itself has been quite educational and eye opening on many fronts not least the work that goes on in the background by avb and others. My own personal involvement with F2B as a moderator has also had its rewards in terms of seeing GLBT people reconciling their sexuality/faith conflict through communication and dialogue on the forum with others on the same journey.

The great challenge for me now is to extend myself beyond my comfort zone and be more involved in those things that I hold passionately dear to me

hello mobile guy..please identify yourself as man with same sex attraction and not as gay..u r a man before all of that..i pray that the lord always leads you in his mysterious ways to the peace inside..all best..your brother in struggle.

hey man in confusion.......I dont think mobileguy struggles with being gay....he has accepted it.

this is what brings peace.

Hey mobileguy

Keep up the great work. And now it's my turn to apologise for the delay in responding. In answer to my question, you said you wish to be more involved in those things you are passionate about... Can't help but be curious about those.

Hi Mobileguy, I really like the way you are thinking about / explaining things..

I think the biggest realisation for me was that with love comes acceptance. And if God loves us then he accepts us. It doesn't mean he accepts everything we will do and that's why he has laid down rules we should work with. (Broadly speaking, look after yourself and be thoughtful and caring towards others.) But he has created us as we are and we should find ways to honour him in that.

I can relate to much of what you have said.

After not attending church for over two years, I have started attending in the mornings since we have moved. In my situation, I am my wife's carer and if I don't go, she can't go either.

After all that has happened at church, I am still miles away from wanting to be involved or having any close freindships there. I definitely don't want to become a member. I still love the Lord and try to stay close to Him.

This is why a site this this means so much to me. It is great to realize I am not alone. I would really like to be involved with gay christians, but can't be of course. Inside I am very lonely, but not so angry as I was. There was a time when I was really angry that I had been lied to from the original scriptures when people gay bash.

Where I am now, is that I am trying to shed the "victim" mentality.

Love you guys a lot.

I received an email today from someone in my old church asking how I was. We were good friends then and did a lot of things together. It was hard for me not to try and guess whether or not he had a hidden motive but in the end I responded to his email telling it like it is without letting him know I am gay. I know that he will most probably want to engage me in an ongoing dialogue but I don't want to out myself to him just yet

Am I just prolonging the inevitable?

Hi mobileguy

When you say: "Am I just prolonging the inevitable?", do you mean, are you prolonging the sense he will reject you? Or maybe you think he's on a mission to bring you back to the flock?

It's difficult, isn't it? I recently had some enquiries made about me via a mutual friend. Those who made the enquiries are nice people but I think it would kill them to know about my sexuality. And so I'm not seeking to actively engage with them (I don't want to deal with rejection and nor do I want to cause them grief) but have decided that if they ask about my partner status, I'll very gently tell them because I don't want to lie.

I think the timing has to be right for you and the other party and I think it's good to know how important the other's opinion is and how you might cope with their rejection/agenda if it happens. I mean it's one thing to know and respect that they will respond as they will and you can't change that, but you have to work out what's best for you too and have the right to avoid a situation you may not want to be exposed to..

I'm interested to discuss further and hear others' responses.

Ann Maree

I think that it often depends on what you feel called to do. Some are called to actively be engaged at bringing change.....some are called to just be.

I've found it helpful not to judge where others are at......especially if we haven't had contact with them for some time.......most of us we get older....become a little more flexible and wiser.....I guess you won't know till you begin to engage.